Doesn't quite do what it says on the label

Another semester is down and it's time to start dealing with my college's contenders for graduation in the Spring 2011 semester. I keep all the applicants' names on a spreadsheet. If I don't have a copy of their department's degree plan yet (DP), I have an asterisk next to their name; also means I don't have a file built for them yet. This is important for playing along with the home version :P.

I come in this morning, thinking I'll get started on the apps this morning. I have my weekly latte with me and coffee often lulls me into a false sense of security regarding my intelligence. So, feeling somewhat smart, I grab my spreadsheet and very carefully start wending my way through looking for the files I do have...until my brain grabs me by the back of my collar and has the following conversation with me (my brain will be playing the role of, well, Brain. I, apparently, have been cast as Pinky):

Brain:: Um...'scuse me? Remember the asterisks on this list?
Me: Yes, Brain. I see them right there.
Brain:: This means what?
Me: That I don't have their DP yet.
Brain (ever so patiently): Aaaaaand?
Me: WHAT? *light dawns* Ohhhhh....and that I...don't...have a file yet.
Brain: Exactly. So why don't you just pick up all the files and take them to your desk? Honestly, I don't know why I let you get coffee this morning.
Me: *meekly picks up files* So what are we doing tomorrow, Brain?
Brain: I'm going to try to take over the world. You...not so much.

Coffee. It promises so much yet delivers so little :P.